Living in “The In-Between”

Have you ever looked at your life and wondered when the really important part was going to begin? 

Maybe you wondered, What’s the point of all this daily monotony and routine?

In life we tend to remember the big moments. The day we graduated. The day we fell in love. The great adventure. The moment everything finally seemed to make sense.

But what about all the days in-between?

The chaotic Mondays. The quiet Tuesdays. Ordinary weeks. Months when nothing particularly exciting happens. When living melds into a series of small events: getting up, going to work, doing the laundry, paying the bills, making dinner, going to bed—and then doing it all over again.

Such is the majority of our lives. They may seem ordinary, but I have come to believe they are far more.

Music Inspired My Thoughts

I began thinking about this long ago, during my teenage and young adult years, when  listening to songs by Christian artist Sandi Patty.

One of her songs is titled, In the InBetween. It focuses on the waiting periods of life, the transitions, or the “in-between” phases where it can seem like we’re just hanging out doing nothing consequential.

Here is a link to this song.… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0Js5eeHHhM&list=RDM0Js5eeHHhM&start_radio=1

She tells her audience how her life has seen highs and lows, sometimes “soaring through the air” and sometimes simply existing “where everyday life happens.” Looking back now, I think I understand that song much better than I did prior.

Where Does Character Come From?

Most of life is quite mundane and non-eventful.  Full of daily chores and happenings that aren’t particularly exciting.

Boring, Boring and more Boring.

BUT….

Hidden within these ordinary moments are the essential building blocks of who we are becoming, for we are building the core structure of our own character.

This is incredibly important to understand.

Some believe that our character and nature are simply innate before birth, and as we grow, merely becomes evident.  Thereby, determining the paths we will follow in life.

I don’t believe this, and it has not been my experience.

To a certain extent, our genes do define the outer limitations of our lives. For example, I will never be a great speaker of Native American history.  As a Caucasian woman, I do not have the cultural connection or lived experience that would permit me the honor of speaking with depth on that subject. And I probably will never run a marathon. My genes have decided my legs were better designed to hover the earth like a hobbit than fly across it like a gazelle.

Every generation can only extend so far past the ones before it, except of course, when God chooses to intervene and do something extraordinary in someone’s life. Beyond these limitations, so much of who we become is shaped by what we allow into our lives.

Everything we participate in, listen to, learn from, befriend, read, study and create can play a part in defining our character. 

I chose to listen to Sandi Patty during some of my most formative years. I absorbed her voice into my mind. I absorbed the viewpoints and lessons contained in her songs. In this way I was choosing what kind of influence I wanted to have in my life. I choose which traits I wanted to model.

Another Link to a Fantastic Sandi Patty Song… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRTwUvZG5a0&list=RDSRTwUvZG5a0&start_radio=1

Likewise, I took great pleasure in being near my father when he built things. I loved watching him work.  Although I did not spend much time doing those things myself as a teenager, he planted a seed in my heart that I eventually expanded upon during my adult years.

There was another influence. One I did not choose. It choose me.

I had a personal issue that kept me isolated from community and deeper relationships.  I kept to myself a lot.  As a result, I find it difficult now to trust large groups of people.  Groups, strangers, and new events make me very uncomfortable.

And now being a much older woman, I don’t do uncomfortable. Or perhaps, it just requires great strength, which I am not always able to provide.

The Importance of Our Character Choices

These are vital, significant, life altering choices, and many of them are made in the small, ordinary moments of everyday life.

The wisdom behind Proverbs 12:26 is very real. The people we spend our time with influence the paths we take.

Daily interactions with people close to us, can influence our actions, whether we realize it or not.  All people bring with them a journey filled with preset choices.  For example, imagine you have a friend whose family is full of pickpockets and thieves.  Eventually, that friend takes you into a store and says, “It’s no big deal.  My family does it all the time.”

So, you relent.

You bend just a little to accommodate your friend.  Maybe you do it, so you don’t look foolish or weak.  Maybe you want to fit in.

But that little compromise can become another compromise. And another. Over time, the line you once knew not to cross becomes blurred. Now something you once considered unthinkable becomes something you could possibly do.

Character is built one choice at a time.

Unfortunately, in the same sense, so is the destruction of character.

A Great Resource of Character

At some point in your life, you should sit down and ask yourself some serious questions:

1. What kind of person do I want to be?
2. What traits do I want to display?
3. Who do I know who displays character traits that I admire?
4. What is it about that person that I admire?
5. How can I develop those same qualities within my own life?

Write your answers down. Make a poster with the answers on it, display it on your wall, and look at it every day. Think about what these attributes look like in real life. Then practice them.

If you are ever at a loss for where to begin, the book of Proverbs in the Bible is an excellent place to find wisdom and good character traits.  The kind that God admires.

Here are just a few:

• Humility
• Fear and Reverence of the Lord
• Integrity and honesty
• Being able to accept correction
• Diligence and hard work
• Kindness, Mercy, and Generosity
• Self Control and Slow to Anger

There are many more.

We will look more closely at these in future posts because I believe part of my role as your grandmother is to help you understand the character traits God desires for you to have.

I want you to know what He admires. I want you to understand that good character will serve you well throughout your life. For I know well, God blesses those who strive after these things.

He blesses those who make Him smile.

What Part of Our Path Does God Design?

Now, it is true that God defines our path and paves the road for us to walk.  It is also true that we can veer away from that path going very far away from the destination He designed specifically for us.

Knowing this, we must take great care with how we walk forward in life, being diligent to stay focused on the destination. 

Our final destination, if we are followers of Jesus Christ, is perfection in Him.  It is heaven. Eternally, that is our destination and one in which God is working in us to materialize, during our short stint here on Earth.

Beyond this, we also have a purpose on this planet. We never really know, what God intends for our future here, unless specifically told.  Sometimes, He makes it very clear. But mostly, we are simply called to walk faithfully with the instruction He has already provided us in Scripture. 

Every day we face mini moments of choice:

What will we learn today? 

What will receive our time and attention?

Will we forgive the person who made a stupid remark?

Will we pay attention to the person standing in the store who doesn’t have enough money to purchase milk and eggs?

Will we set aside time to talk with God today, or will we spend that time playing games on our phone?

Will I trust God’s instruction in this situation, or will I decide to do things my own way?

These moments may seem insignificant. They aren’t.

All the things we do when nobody Is looking are
making us into the person that everyone eventually sees.

Good and Godly character is a gift we give ourselves. Poor and twisted character is what happens when we stop caring about character.

As You Grow

As you grow and learn, don’t despise these ordinary, boring days. Some of God’s best work is being done inside of you. Take the opportunity to build upon the lessons God places in your life. Create new and better ways of becoming the person He designed you to be.

When you make mistakes, and you will, reflect upon what went wrong.  Learn from it. Then determine what you will do differently the next time.

This is the road of life, my darling. This is how God prepares you for the great moments ahead.

And Remember This….

What God wants you to do in Public, He will train you for in private.

If you have not been willing to allow God to train your character in the private places of your life, be very careful about assuming that every public opportunity comes from Him. God is unchanging, He has been from the foundations of this earth. Although He often does new things, His character remains unchanged. Perfection, by its very nature, is perfect. It cannot be improved upon.

This is why He is worthy of our love, our trust, and our devotion.

And so, we return to the in-between.

The quite ordinary days, when nothing particularly exciting seems to be happening.

Perhaps, those days aren’t as empty as they seem

If you stay close to God and follow the wisdom He has provided, then, as Sandi Patty sings: “Grace and mercy know no season. There is no good reason why the best of days might not be the days ahead.”

I believe in you!

My Prayer for You

May you be born with a nature eager to pursue the will of God for your life. 

And may you choose, day after day, to chase that future through the ordinary moments in your life, the daily in-betweens.

So that when those great moments of epic grandeur finally arise, you will be ready.

Ready in strength, courage, and humility.

Ready to face whatever dragons stand before you.

Because the greatest lesson of all is this:

The in-between isn’t wasted time.

It is where you are becoming who you were created to be.