There are many books written about finding inner peace. Everyone seems to have their own perspective. So many opinions and ideas, so many new paths to follow.
Buddhist teachings often connect suffering with our attachment to things we desperately want to remain unchanged. That internal struggle can create anxiety and distress.
Counselors frequently encourage us to establish healthy boundaries, teaching us to protect our emotional well-being.
Stoic philosophy emphasizes learning to distinguish between what we can control and what we cannot.
All of these approaches offer something to consider. Yet, sometimes it seems as though everyone has discovered the secret to inner peace.
If we could just figure it all out, perhaps we would finally arrive at that wonderful place where worry disappears and life becomes easy.
Wouldn’t that be lovely?
But life doesn’t work that way.
Who Gets to Set the Standard?
So many people will try to influence you throughout your life, expecting you to conform to their ideas of right and wrong.
Many times, I have wondered, who exactly gets to set the standard for who we are and what we do? So many seem to believe they were elected to the position.
Perhaps it’s those with the strongest intellect who should decide. But intelligence doesn’t necessarily produce wisdom. Some of the most intelligent people can make terribly destructive decisions.
Others, lacking confidence in their own judgment, bend themselves to fit the expectations of those around them, often ending up with a life of misery.
There are those so driven by success that they will do almost anything to fit in, impress others, or rise to the top of whatever mountain they are climbing.
And finally, there are those so convinced of the righteousness of their own thinking that they believe they have the authority to dictate how everyone else should live.
Where does this leave us?
Giving others the authority to establish the standards by which you live can set you up for years of frustration, confusion and hardship.
I know something about that.
When the Foundation Keeps Moving
I was raised by a woman who lived according to a set of standards that existed solely within her own mind. As children, and well into adulthood, my sister and I were continually judged according to her standards.
We were constantly on edge, walking on eggshells, never quite able to grasp what we were being measured against. The expectations seemed to change depending upon the environment and circumstances.
How does one move forward like that?
It wasn’t until my late 40s that I began to recognize the standards by which I had been judging myself were built upon an invisible and constantly shifting line.
By rebuilding my boundaries upon Scripture, rather than the expectations of another person, I could finally begin to establish a solid foundation beneath my feet.
I make this process sound easy now, but believe me, it was a very hard difficult path to discover and walk.
Through my own experiences, I have come to believe:
True inner peace is found when we choose
to live an authentic life, rooted in Christ.
What is Living an Authentic Life?
Scripture reminds us, God knows each of us, deeply and completely.
He created us with great intention and care. Our lives hold meaning and purpose. He offers guidance as we walk the roads ahead of us. He is there for us, wanting to be there on the road with us walking through this book camp of life.
Living an authentic life begins when we accept that we don’t need to pretend or perform to earn our worth. For we are already known and loved by God.
Simply being His child, living to the best of our ability while continually seeking His direction, is a beautiful place to begin.
Living authentically means aligning your outer life with your inner faith. It means allowing your words, character, and choices to reflect what you truly believe, even when doing so becomes uncomfortable.
Jesus never expected us to achieve perfection through our own strength, but He does call us to pursue righteousness with honesty and humility.
When we stumble, we learn.
Confession, repentance, and growth are simply part of our daily walk with God. We bring everything before Him, both the good and the bad, as we struggle with the realities of being human.
When Authenticity Comes at a Cost
There will be moments when being honest will cost you approval, friendships, or opportunities.
In such times, remember Romans 12:2:
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
Living according to this instruction isn’t always easy. Sometimes it means standing alone when everyone around you expects something different. Often requires something different.
If we believe that one of the primary purposes of this life is to build upon our faith, then this far outweighs any momentary applause of others. God sees the choices we make, even when nobody else understands them.
And while following Him doesn’t guarantee an easy road, it gives us something far more valuable: a foundation that remains steady when everything around us begins to shake.
Learning to Listen to His Voice
Over time, I have learned living authentically, in constant communication with God, brings a quiet resilience and strength.
Such qualities are increasingly rare in this world. And they will set you apart from the crowd if you practice them routinely and appropriately.
There have been times when I’ve done wrong through ignorance, misunderstanding, or having bad information. Those are times I regret. Deeply. It could have been the slightest slip of speech or an unconscious remark. But those moments have a way to sticking with you many years later. I should have been more guarded, more considerate.
In those moments, I sought out God. I told Him everything, how I failed, how I regret. I ask for forgiveness for hurting someone else.
His gentle guidance replied:
“Yes, you made a mistake. But what did you learn?”
And then:
“How can we do better going forward?”
What a beautiful thing it is to bring every part of ourselves before Him, without pretending, without hiding, and without making excuses. There is something deeply comforting about knowing that even our mistakes can become opportunities for growth.
Seeking out that still, small voice, never let me down. Ever.
Authenticity Builds Trust
Living an authentic life, through both good times and bad, creates unspoken respect in others. When people know where you stand, they begin to understand what they can expect from you. Your words have meaning because your actions support them. This consistency creates trust, and trust provides the foundation for healthy relationships.
On the other hand, when someone continually lives behind masks, saying one thing and doing another, those around them begin to feel uncertain. How can you trust someone when you never know which version of that person you will encounter?
Imagine the exhausting effort required to maintain such a life.
Constantly performing, keeping up appearances, meeting false expectations, and trying to remember which story was told to whom. One falsehood often requires another, and then another. Eventually, the foundation of those relationships becomes unstable. People bolt when things around them are unstable, when life is uncertain, and people untrustworthy.
What a terribly exhausting way to live. And how lonely.
The Beauty of Being Real
Someone who can experience love, confusion, sadness, disappointment, and even anger without needing to pretend those feelings don’t exist, is an authentic person. Someone willing to acknowledge mistakes, accept correction, and accept the fact that learning and growth will always occur, is an authentic person.
Being authentic doesn’t mean every feeling is right or every action justified. It means being honest about who we are while allowing God to continue shaping who we become.
Truth and honesty offer solid ground. A firm foundation on which to stand. A foundation for deep and healthy relationships, where people can know and love one another without constantly wondering what is real. This foundation provides every one room to grow, to learn, and to gain wisdom through life experiences.
Please allow others room to grow, darling. Don’t ever judge or condemn someone for being their true selves. Yes, everyone needs to learn to contain their emotions and make good decisions, but everyone deserves the freedom in this life to figure things out for themselves. This is, after all, what we are here for. Life is growing, learning, and figuring things out.
And as we grow in wisdom, learning to trust God rather than the shifting expectations of the world, we begin to discover a deeper kind of peace. True inner peace.
Not a life without difficulties.
Not a life without mistakes.
But a life grounded in truth, strengthened by faith, and free from the exhausting need to be someone we were never meant to be.
A life where who we are, what we believe, and how we live can finally come together in harmony.
And that, my darling, is what I want for you. If you can discover this truth early, then you will have so much more time to grow in wisdom, faith, and character, becoming a man or woman of true stature standing before the Lord.
Leave a Reply